Maybe, Maybe Not

As a certified control freak, I do not do uncertainty well. If a tsunami is coming, I can plan for that or brace myself. If a tsunami washes over  me unexpectedly, well, I’m in it now, so all I can do is swim or drown, and which one it will be is going to be pretty clear pretty quick. But if a tsunami may be coming, but maybe not…

Or if something great is coming, even if it’s a lot of work, like a wedding, there are a lot of moving pieces, but I can organize the hell out of it, so it’s stressful, but there’s an outlet.

But man, this thing of selling a house. A house you weren’t ready to sell, so you know there are issues, but the only thing you can do is try to price it right and pray… And that last thing really doesn’t help when you don’t believe in an interventionist God. I mean, if there’s an interventionist God, it really needs to be working on a lot bigger things than the sale of my house.

Thank God I’m not teaching right now. I have the kind of flexible schedule that allows me to run home and get the dogs for showings. I can work in inspections and that kind of thing. Plus education feels like one huge, deep pool of uncertainty right now, so if I were teaching, I’d probably be gibbering to myself in a corner.

There’s nothing to do about it. I keep telling myself this, but I seem to be awash in stress hormones anyway. That’s it. If you were hoping for insights on how to deal with the stress of uncertainty, I got nothin’.

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Paula is an author of historical fiction as well as a wife, mom, and teacher.
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